OMG what a day of driving, almost as bad as last Saturday when I drove from Arezzo!
I left here early, went to the next village – 20 minutes away – and had coffee outside and emailed and uploaded photos to facebook, chatted with a local for a while (Italian conversation!), then had a look around the village, found a pizzeria, sat at a table, but no, they are not serving pizza today??? (Only in Italy!). Had some lunch and then went to the information building to get some maps to get back to stupid Avis on Saturday, and asked about getting to Deruta. Why is it that driving somewhere is sooooooooo easy for a local??? Ok, I thought, if it is that easy I am going to give it a go! On the way out of the village walls I bought a gelati, stopped and leaned against the castle walls and savored my gelati while wondering when I will be doing that again! Got in the car and found highway E45 to Deruta, piece of cake. Drove 1.5 hours to Deruta, found a squillion ceramic places, the production places were expensive, owner/operators a bit more reasonable. I have a few momentos and a couple of surprises that fingers crossed will make the journey home in one piece!
Piece of cake to get to Deruta, how the hell do I get back on to highway E45 to home????
Easy peasy to get on to highway A1 to Rome and Florence. Then realise, nope, don’t want to go there or even in that direction! Hmmmm how to turn around. I stopped twice and checked out my map and made a couple of turn-offs to see if that helped! Nope. One woman I asked was so helpful, she took about 15 minutes to explain. I wish I had understood her!
The truckie who stopped at the same highway stop gave me great directions, I just had to turn around and then get back on to E45, easy! He waved me off with a ‘prego!’ (you are welcome) and a big grin. I wasn’t sure if he was smiling or laughing at me. I soon discovered it was laughing as I found myself ridiculously lost again. Still on a highway, just the wrong one!
Next stop was at a service station. Luckily for me the carabinieri (govt police) had also made a stop. I asked young handsome spunk with gawjarse light blue eyes if he would help me please. Certo. I gave him my map and discovered my glasses were not in my bag so I went back to the car and got them. Went back to mr young handsome spunk with gawjarse light blue eyes to discover I had given him the wrong map. Back to the car again for the right map, back to mr young handsome spunk with gawjarse light blue eyes and pointed to where I wanted to be and asked how to get off A1 and on to E45. He looked at me and said 'mutter mutter mutter non capiso tu parla' – I don’t understand what you are saying. He didn’t understand english. Next thing his old fat partner - picture Barney from the Simpsons – has finished his coffee and comes out. Luckily he has a smattering of english and tells me to go back the way I came, first turn right, drive 5 kms then turn left then I am on E45. I asked what sign I should look for –don’t look for sign, just drive. OK Mr Plod – grazie, see you young handsome spunk with gawjarse light blue eyes.
I followed Mr Plod’s direction and buggar me if I didn’t make the same wrong turn off!! By this stage I have had enough. I refused to keep driving and get lost again, so stopped. On the highway. In the right hand lane. Reversed and waited until there was a break in the left lane driving in the same direction as me, the next lane that was driving in the opposite direction, both lanes doing mostly 110kms, and then the next lane where I wanted to be – facing the opposite direction. I eventually got a break in the traffic and just went for it. It is the most illegal driving I have ever done and the best U turn across three highway lanes you would ever see. At least now I was going in the right direction on the right road.
1.5 hours later, I was home. I turned off the car and have vowed to never ever drive in that direction on that highway ever again in my whole life! Tomorrow I am going back to the neighbouring village for coffee and a bit of internet uploading, back to the doctors, then I'm going to the post office, stop off for coffee up the top of the castle here, then come home. Hopefully I can keep out of trouble!
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